♥you. [: 31july'xx. :D Add me: Msn/Friendster/Facebook[: Piercings(All done!): ♥sistaaas. [: ♥Lovexz. Thoven, Noobpig, Yilin, (: Pamela, Joyce, Matthew, (: April, Desmond, Dion, (: Adriano, Jason, Nitro, (: Kenneth, Weiling, Gygy, (:
♥Abstract melody.
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love.
Friday, January 20, 2012, 12:47 AM
Not done trying to get over one issue another one appears.One after another and another. Can only say physical pain is nothing compared to the mental ones, because it the mental pain that drives one crazy. Maybe I dwell too much on the past, but if nothing happened there won't be anything to dwell on. On what basis does one trust that a guy can stay true to only one girl. Just when you thought you found someone different, it really won't be long before they prove you wrong. Guys are really all the same. Unable to resist the attention they get from girls, indulging themselves in the feeling of being wanted by others even though they are already wanted by one. It's just never enough. Not even gonna lie I seriously hate it. Is it just guys who are too selfish or girls who are too selfless. Promises are nothing unless they are fulfilled. Words can be nothing, but words can also kill. Fucking, fucking, fucking tired. In this fucking state I still have to complete three fucking essays. SERIOUSLY HOW MANY FUCKING ISSUES MUST I DEAL WITH IN JUST ONE RELATIONSHIP FUCK. Am really going crazy and can't take it any much longer. With all these episodes playing in my head non-stop for every fucking single day, my life would probably shorten by another year everyfuckingday. Sorry doesn't help because it just mean the damage is already done. Ironic that I stick to the words you said but you didn't. Fucking paradox that when i'm with you I am sad and happy at the same time all the time. Don't be stress? How not to be. Every month one new drama. Before I even have time to COPE with the first a new one comes along. What fucking faith am I suppose to have when every relationship is the same, disappointing. Definitely another sleepless night. Damn it. Even if I die now the amount of rest I get after death won't be enough to compensate the amount of rest I lack when i'm fucking alive. All I want is a guy who won't flirt with other girls, who won't give unnecessary attention to other girls, who can make his words count, who is faithful, who can make me feel secured, who can make me feel that much more important and that less inferior. Too much to ask for? I guess so. Welcome to reality, where you deal with shit your whole life and die with it. In life only one thing is guaranteed, death. In life you can only trust one person, yourself. Scratch that, sometimes you can't even trust yourself. Only reason why it hurts is because I care too much. Maybe I shouldn't. If you like the attention from those girls or their fucking words for you, so be it. Talk to me when they can show that they love you more than I do through fucking actions. Otherwise, all fuck off. I can ask those guys to fuck off, no reason why you can't. If you can't, then seriously, you can go join those girls interested in you. All fuck off together. Don't even fucking bother to think twice bout my thoughts already because like i've said, I've reached my fucking limits. love.
Monday, January 16, 2012, 12:56 AM
Sucks to be jealous every other second,because that just shouts, "you're insecured." love.
Sunday, January 15, 2012, 1:44 AM
Hello people, remember these times?The effects of a rushed photo from a stupid passerby. ![]() Lepak times at panjang. ![]() After och at changi beach. ![]() At shisha, when we all lied about our age then. ![]() And zejajnhjasc! Since then everyone moved on, and everyone changed. For better, for worse. There are so many times that I start missing those days. When I look at the old photos, when I randomly see these people on the streets, when I see a huge clique hanging around, when I see a huge group split into small groups, when I see internal conflicts in those cliques. Somehow I never regretted those days even though things didn't really end nicely. And right now I guess I am the only person who still hopes that we still had those days, when everyone are already leading their own lives happily. Thank god we had the habit of snapping pictures all the time, at least there's still something that I can look at and remind myself that those times were real, and at all those moments, we were all happy. love.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011, 9:50 AM
Woah, last night's post is really a mad short-fused post. If you think i'm not reasonable or still thinks that I am the same as your ex after this, The day kicked off on quite a bad note. love.
Monday, November 28, 2011, 10:48 PM
Worst messages replies:"-.-" <- top hated face. "Lol." "Diao." "Haha" "zz" "Okay." The winner? "K." ANNOYING WAY OFF FUCKING CHARTS. 10000 words message and 1 word message gets the same reply, short. So why do I bother. RULE OF THUMB: The reciprocal rule. I'm really just gonna reply by how people reply me. And honestly. I don't see why on earth does it take five dinosaurs to die before I get a fucking short reply. EG, "OKAY." Mad angst, tolerance for short replies and long waits have offically sunk down to negativity. GOD. OKAY I DON'T EVEN WANNA BOTHER TRYING TO ORGANISE MY THOUGHTS, IAMFUCKINGPISSED. BYE. P/S: Woah, mad short-fused post. Stacked up stress really does no one any good. zz. Got quite pissed with the comparison thing, but i'd get pissed anyway if this happened in any other situation. I also didn't really make a big fuss about your short replies, (except for the ONE time I mentioned about it) much less expect you to change. The comparison got me damn fired up solely BECAUSE whoever-that-was said it was okay from the start then kpkb about it later on. For me it was never okay but I chose to accept it, but accepting it really doesn't mean that I can't feel unhappy bout it. Let's be honest here, I am quite irritated with it. The only reason why I refuse to say anything is because it was my choice to be with you from the start and therefore I have to accept the way you are, good or bad. I can only tell you what I like or don't like, what follows after is your choice. love.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011, 1:11 AM
Some people are so materialistic it's scary.It's not like we didn't know, it's just that when you suddenly realise that one of your friend is like that it gets scarier. There are some people who are like that, when they have no one, they find you. When they have others, you're no one. It's like your existence vanished into dust all of a sudden. Worst of all is those people who only find you when they need help and ignore you at all other times or when you need help. Dude, fuck off. The space in my life can be vacant for someone else more important and worthy to keep. Speaking of friends, I realise that the only girlfriend that I find worthy to keep is Shihan. :) We may not contact as often as any other bestfriends do, but there's a certain assurance that we'll be there for each other no matter what. Another bunch of girlfriends I have is my primary school sistas. Kinda watch each other grew up and these are the people who really accept me for who I am. I'm a person with very little girl-bestfriends. I have plenty of girl-friends, fun to hang out with, just no one that I bother to keep too close. Why? One, most will just find other bestfriends after awhile. You're out of the game. Two, they fuck you behind your back. You'll see the ugliest side of people once they get comfortable with you, but most people, especially girls, won't say it in front of you. You know what bestfriends do? They fuck you in your face, not behind your back. Three, after awhile you'll realise that they don't really treasure the friendship afterall. Happens in a lot of friendships because they found new friends. Four, they have the most fucked up moodswings ever. I'm not saying that I don't have it, but please, control, don't act like the whole world owes you something. I realise what Shihan and I do is that we usually bitch it out, instead of lashing it out at each other or giving each other cold shoulder. People come and go in your life. There are some people who are there but honestly they don't deserve to be. Specifically people who take you for granted, or do/say things without knowing their limits. Maybe it all boils down to acceptance, but nah not for me, can't accept shit like that. Friends are not for benefits, because if you only find friends for benefits, you'll never have true friends. On a very random note, I feel that some people are so good at drawing attention to themselves. But because they make it a habit, it seems natural that they're trying to attract attention. You know what pisses me off the most? When people perceive this kind of people as those who gets attention of people easily. Hell of a fuck, they're just habitual attention seekers. Please do those people who attracts attention easily because of certain charisma some justice and learn how to fucking differentiate, don't degrade them man. :) Gosh, the world is seriously full of sickening people. But that's good too, because without sickening people like that people won't appreciate the good ones around them. Well of course there are people who choose the sickening ones over the good ones, all I can say to such people is, hope your eyes grow soon. :) love.
Monday, November 21, 2011, 9:56 PM
I think it's really not easy to speak coherently while trying to hold back your tears.There are many things that we can tolerate, but people gradually get tired and there will be this day when we finally explode. Today was kinda that day, not really explode but I kinda expressed a little overboard. Fucking upsetting. Sigh. Shall continue this on tumblr/private blog or something. :/ That being said, it's not like i'm giving up or anything. You're one thing and actually the only thing that I ever held on so hard to, and I don't intend to let go anytime at all, because I don't wanna regret, and I don't wanna lose you. All I ask from you, is for you to not give up.. P/S: What a dayyy. |
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